11/14 Big Sur Half Marathon - Failure is a Platform for Future Success

Last Sunday, I ran one of the most beautiful half marathon courses in the country. The race started in downtown Monterey, and ran out and back alongside the ocean, ending at the Marina. For the sight itself, the race was worth the experience! Personally, this race was discouraging at best at first, for the very reason that I didn't meet my timing goal. My goal was to beat my last half marathon time by 7 minutes - the actual result was a mere 1 minute improvement. It was still my PR and I'm glad that i didn't get any slower, but I was very bummed that I didn't get a chance to show a notable improvement in my running. But here is the deal - we reap what we sow. I don't mean this in a negative way at all - the beautiful thing about our body is that it functions the way it is trained! Here's how I see this race and how I can improve going forward - I may have failed to meet my goals but I am taking this experience to prepare even better next time for the result I want.

• The body can handle what it was trained for: the longest mile i ran in one day during training was 10 miles. I was supposed to run 13 miles one weekend, but I couldn't finish because it was a terribly rainy day and I almost froze to death trying to finish the distance. I ran 8 miles twice, and maybe 9 miles once as well. Amazingly, my piriformis muscles (the muscles that are under our butt cheeks that surround our hip joints, so to speak) broke down about half a mile after I passed the 10 mile mark. More amazingly, up to mile 8, my average running speed was the fastest i have ever ran in a race! How funny is that - my body handled the 8 miles very well because I trained for it multiple times. However, since I skimped on my longer runs towards the end of training (working 20/7 did not help but let me keep my excuses short), my body basically only handled what it was trained for. Cause and effect. That is the truth.
• My hip flexors worked great! But my glutes/piriformis broke down: this is yet another amazing result of what I put in. As you may have read before, my hip flexors (these are the muscles that help us pull our legs up when we run or walk, on both sides of our lower abdomen) have always been a huge source of my pain. During training, on the days i wasn't running, I diligently worked on my hip flexors to strengthen them. My glutes bothered me from time to time, so I worked on them, but not as regularly as I did on my hip flexors. Especially during the last three weeks of my training when I was actually working too much and therefore sitting in still position most of the time, I knew I had to work on my glutes (back of my hips) as well as my hip flexors (front of my hips), but due to the limited amount of free time I had, I allocated whatever time i had to keeping my hip flexors from breaking down. During the race, I really did NOT have any problem with my hip flexors, but from the beginning of my race my left glutes were just bugging me, which made me overcompensate with my right legs, which basically later caused my right glutes to break down as well. I had to walk straight for 5 minutes around mile 11, and walking was still causing my eyes to tear up! (But I still finished, which I'm proud of)
• If you don't train properly, you won't meet your goals: Up to the first five 6 weeks of my 10-week training program, which was programmed to specifically meet my timing goal, I was on track with my plan. It was going great. Starting week 7, things started falling apart (work, work, work), then in the last 3 weeks of my training, I was only able to do half of the frequency and distance of the suggested training, including missing a crucial peak week before I was to taper. As a result, I simply did not meet my timing goal at the race - I mean, amazing, isn't it??? Ok, I know i'm being sarcastic with the whole amazing thing, but really, as I was driving back from work tonight I was no longer bummed about the race. I basically reaped what I sowed.

So what's my next race? What are my plans?

3/20, I will be running my first full marathon in the city of Los Angeles. Towards the end of January, I will do a half marathon race to check the progress of my training. For those two races, I know EXACTLY what I need to do - GO BY THE TRAINING PROGRAM, DO ALL MY DISTANCES, and WORK ON THOSE GLUTES AS WELL AS THE HIP FLEXORS!!!!! There is no other simple formula. Do the training, and do the strength work that are crucial to sustaining my structural integrity.

I'm actually really excited that i don't even have to think hard to come up with a game plan, as my failure pretty much revealed to me what was supposed to be done to succeed!

It's never a mystery why things work or don't work - well, of course there are exceptions. But when it comes to the matter of our body, it really works in accordance with what we put in. So eat well, sleep well, think well and move well. And never wonder, "how did i get this better?"

:)

Before I head out for a Run...

It's Sunday, 5pm. I need to go for a run now. It is supposed to be 13 miles, but i'm not sure where i will end up because i haven't ran all week. Work was outrageously busy and I got sucked into the stress...

The key to today's run will be to start very slow - my right SI joint in the back is definitely rubbing (ouch!), my right hip flexor is tight and hurting. The only way to get these parts moving right is to warm up right. My body will be in for a shock today, after a full week of lots of sitting still in front of the computer. I have been doing conditioning work throughout the week instead (i only had 10-15 minutes / day to do anything, so i had to choose conditioning work), so hopefully that has counteracted the muscle fatigue from doing absolutely nothing.

Another key point to remember as i start is to get my mind going on the positive direction - a week of bad training is not the end, these things happen. I can't let my frustrations get in the way of my continued efforts to train. When the body is weak, the mind has to hold it up...if the mind break downs as well, it will be game over for me.

All i know is that when i'm done with the run, no matter how short or long, i will feel A LOT better than I have been all week! Every day has its challenges, every day has its startling line and finish line. Today I will finish nicely. Then I will start my week on a positive note.

It is so easy to let the bad things in life take over us... but every day we can choose to turn it around. Things hurt everywhere right now but I will not get down. I will move this body to loosen up the tight muscles, get the blood flowing, and get those serotonin levels up!! Sitting here and trying to get more work done will only harm me in the long run. I will go, even if it is for 45 minutes. I will keep going if i feel up for it. i will stop if i don't. but I will make sure i do my very best to do the most i can.

it has been tough week - my determinations and beliefs were challenged and I was challenged...I was tempted to break down and let go of my convictions. But i didn't. I didn't cave into the pressures of life. Because deep down inside, i know everything i have worked hard on paid off at the end. I have to keep going, go with the flow, and when the flow stops on me, I have to go and get some drano to get life flowing again... just like that, i will fight my fears of pain and doubts about running today and just get moving. Then who knows what can happen. I'm just not going to stop here. i'm just not going to not do this.

Even when it doesn't feel right, we have to keep doing the right thing.

Half Marathon Training - So Far, So Good!

Over the past 4 weeks, I’ve survived 3 long runs of 8-10 miles! I have been diligently doing conditioning work on rest days to strengthen my usual problem areas (hips, hip flexors, I’ve talked about them way too often). It’s not that I don’t have any pain anymore, but the conditioning work has enabled me to continue my runs without prolonged breaks forced from the pain! Now that is progress compared to even earlier this year.

The conditioning work is really nothing intense or particularly strenuous – since I sit a lot during the day without much movement at work, I make sure I move my legs in all four directions (front, back, side to side) and do exercises that strengthen my glutes. Occasionally I’d add upper body workouts as well to strengthen the core (helps posture when running). Very infrequently using weights, most of the times using resistance bands or sometimes none at all. It’s something most of the people (if not all!) can handle if you have a chronic pain issue.

Running a lot also has helped me manage my stress better and get my thoughts organized to make positive decisions in my life. Being back in training mode definitely suits my life better! It is also great to have something to look forward to tackling (e.g. break 2:40 time goal for the half marathon on 11/14), achieving, etc… what is your next achievement? It doesn’t have to be big, just something you have been wanting to do, make it a goal and just go for it! The feeling of accomplishing goals will charge you up for the next!!! Having something to look forward to…a great impetus to go to sleep to wake up the next day and get moving!!!

Here are my goals for this week:

1. Get all my deliverables done at work in a timely and accurate manner
2. Make sure I train at least 3 days of the week (out of the ideal 4)
3. Don’t eat heavily salty, spicy and soy-sauce marinated food (worst for my allergies)
4. Don’t get frustrated by others’ bad attitude – just stay happy and positive at all times

What are your goals for the week? No matter how big or small, let’s set them and experience the power of achieving them!

Getting back in Gear

It's been a while.

I think I've let myself get lost a little bit. Maybe I got tired of all the discipline, the planning, the training, being strong, being diligent and working hard. I thought if i took a step back from all of this I would feel better. The work load didn't change. In fact, things got worse. Sleeping in most of the days and on the weekends instead of doing my training didn't make me better. Irregular exercise, irregular sleep patterns, work stress and personal pressure to be everything for everybody all made me very...mixed up.

Well, i'm here to say that those mixed up days are over. I'm back and i'm ready for the next step up.

First of all, I would like to thank many of you who have sent me encouraging messages about my blog - although i have been silent for a while you have continued to find me, which motivated me even more to return to where i belong. I realized I am happiest when i'm working hard towards a goal, a big goal i am scared of going for! On that note, I've signed up for my first full marathon ever - the LA Marathon. That will take place in March 2011. I believe it will be my first event into my path to completing a full ironman. It is what i'm meant to do.

I had a pretty nasty flu this past week. I kept questioning why i have been feeling so unlike myself for the past 6-8 months. All the answers came down to what i mentioned before - i realized that i'm best when i'm doing what i was doing up to about 6-8 months ago - training as diligently as i used to!!!

I have a lot to work on - as strong and determined as I seem to be on this blog, i have weaknesses that make me stumble, doubt and hide. I even at times doubt who I am and what I'm worth, and i have realized just now that all of those things are a thing of the past, or I should make sure they become things of the past. Only then will I be able to achieve the great desires of my heart in the future.

Whatever we have inside that is holding us back - we all have those - they deserve to be let go. Some of the past hurts we hold on to probably have contributed partially to the condition we live with. Some were out of our control when they happened. But what we decide to hold on to and let go of - aren't those in our control now? YES. Therefore I'm challenging myself and all of you who are reading this to let go of the things that have hurt us. It will not only make us better emotionally or mentally, but it will make us better physically, even if it is by a margin.

Here's to a new day. here's to stepping up. God has opened yet another opportunity for us to grow and prosper.

Changing things up - Let's keep it Interesting!

I've been giving my hips a break. I've attempted to go back to cycling recently, only to end up with severe tightness in my hips, lower abdomen and hip flexors. The muscles are very weak, probably weakened from months of long hours at work. Sitting still in front of the computer for 10+ hours for two months is not good for anyone!

While focusing on conditioning and strengthening my hip area, I started changing things up a little bit. I picked up a new interest called surfing - i purchased my first longboard and have been splashing around in the ocean! I'm still struggling to catch a long ride, but i love being out in the water just having fun and getting a great work out paddling and carrying around a giant 9' board. Surfing is definitely more intense than slow and steady swimming, biking or running, but I think my health has improved to a point where i can handle some occasional intensity. That is an improvement i can be proud of! The consistent conditioning and strengthening work (none of them really involve much weight - most of it is all body weight and subtle movements, they have really strengthened my muscles and joints, unbelievable) has really helped me handle some of the ballistic and sudden movements without feeling intense pain later.

To be honest, i think the recent years of non-stop triathlon training has gotten me burned out a bit. My passion for tri's remain strong, but in order to continue my dream to finish an Ironman race one day, I feel like I needed a break from the routine training after completing the Escape from Alcatraz race. Instead, I'm really enjoying just being "active" and taking on some new challenges. A change in routine is always good - even in our diet, our workouts, pain management regimen, hobbies, etc. We can feel like we're stuck in a rut doing the same things over and over...so when dealing with pain and fatigue, maybe we need to change things up a little once in a while so that we don't get bored of our routine and lose sight of our health!

I have a half-marathon race coming up in November 14, at Big Sur. I have about a month to focus on strengthening my hips to be ready to train for the race. Until then, i will continue to focus on conditioning and strength training and also enjoying some activities outside of the usual swim, bike and run. By August, my mind and body will be ready for some new level of training after a break from the routine - as it won't be routine anymore!

I've also been thinking about the next 12-18 months - November half marathon, maybe February my first full marathon, and then a year after that may be my first full Ironman???? A dream has been planted, so i know I have to execute. I love thinking about these things and anticipating something new. With that goal in mind, recovery now becomes even a greater priority.

What dream have you planted recently? Are you excited about it? Are you ready to execute, no matter what it takes? Just think of the day you will accomplish it! You are already be on your way to the finish line.

Hope you all had a happy 4th - we are blessed to be able to enjoy a holiday like this.

What's Stress Got to Do With It?

...EVERYTHING.

This past Friday, I experienced the strangest yet the strongest flare up - ever. As you know and I know, I have been blessed because my fibromyalgia has never been as strong as some people who suffer pain levels that make them hurt to the touch. I really could never comprehend what that would feel like, as it almost sounded like an exaggeration (i know it isn't!!!). Well, I was wrong and as if God wanted me to feel what hurting to the touch felt like, it struck me out one night after yet another late night at work.

Just to give you a quick background, work has not only been busy but also incrementally stressful because my new hire has not been working out well for our team. As a result, i have been staying extra long hours in order to review every single thing he does, correcting his errors and then use the late hours to get my job done. I have always been able to let go of work stress pretty well no matter how tough things got. However, people's ability is not something we can control, so I suppose I've been lost in trying to deal with this whole situation. I've been doing my best to teach him and motivate him to do better and communicate proactively with everyone to get things done on time and with reasonable level of accuracy. I have learned so far that it is very difficult to tolerate his mistakes and taking extra time to correct his mistakes while still trying to give him positive reinforcement!!

Anyway, after having a rather unsuccessful review meeting with my analyst at 9pm while all of us were trying to meet deadlines for three different projects, I think something happened that triggered my pain nerves. 30 minutes or so after, my ankles and calves started burning, my head started hurting, and i was just overwhelmed with fatigue. Although I still had a great deal of work to do, I knew i had to go home.

By the time i got home, my entire legs were sore and burning all over, my jaws hurt, and I felt like someone beat me hard on my back, I was not sure what was going on and the fear of the unknown scared me beyond belief. I was also really worried about making it to work the next day as there was still so much to do. The minute i got in, i dropped everything and took advil and two packs of Total Sleep, which is a natural serotonin booster (via tryptophan). I had to hope that it would help me relax and sleep better. As i started changing out of my work clothes, I realized that I was hurting so much from the clothes brushing down my legs! Literally, I was feeling sharp pain from what usually is a soft and pleasant feeling, a soft touch of soft fabric... I really did not know what to do, or how to react. I crawled in to bed, soon to realize that i couldn't lie down except on my back because I couldn't bear the pain from my body touching the bed! So I rolled my body like a ball so that the only part of my body touching the bed was my back. I stayed in that position for at least 30 minutes (not easy to do).

I don't know how long it was, but for as long as I could all I did was just pray that this sharp burning sensation would calm down a little. I was just stunned about it all, it was so different, it was so overwhelming, but i just focused on getting my nerves calm and shake off whatever stress i was feeling from work. I just never had to deal with a people problem like this before.

I think i fell asleep while praying...

The next morning when I woke up I definitely felt less of that burning sensation, but my ankles and calves and my teeth were still hurting (i know, teeth???).

I did make it to work, and I knew had to learn how to let people-related stress not get to me as it did the night before. I have a lot to think about.

I'm still in a lot of pain, my hips are definitely feeling it, i'm fatigued and i'm struggling to stay positive. But i know this is a challenge for me to overcome, that's the only way i can look at this. Maybe my analyst needs a manager that can develop his skills a little further. Maybe i can teach him to be more proactive, and show him new ways to approach problem solving, etc. I will try as much as I can until it is proven that i can't influence him any further.

Stress is a scary thing for all of us - and especially for us with fibromyalgia. Our already low serotonin levels will drop down, allowing our already high level of pain chemicals to shoot up and govern our brains! This flare up was really one of the scariest experiences i have ever had, and my heart goes out to those who suffer this kind of pain on a daily basis. But i know that even this can be overcome and I can get better. I have to keep trying. I hope we all keep trying. it's not easy, but we have to take the challenge.

God bless us all.

Escape from Alcatraz Race Report - The Training part

From the day I got the email “Congratulations! You have been selected in the 2010 Escape from Alcatraz Triathlon Random Lottery!” to the moment I crossed the finish line, I have to start out by saying that I have never gone through a training – racing time period with more emotional turmoil than I did with this race. It has already been two weeks since I’ve finished and I haven’t even allowed myself to meditate on this experience until just now. You are all reading this because you have been a positive influence in my training, directly and indirectly, and it is my minimal duty to express proper gratitude and appreciation for being a part of my life and motivation that prevented me from completely bailing from the race (I had all the reasons!) and to ultimately finish the disastrous run course and into the finish line.

** Training, or no Training??**

Most of you have heard too much at this point about my chronic hip issue… After my half marathon in February, running opportunities were pretty much shot, starting from the time I was supposed to do the Great Race of Agoura Hills half marathon in March. I did the best I could to strengthen my weak spots and hoped for my hips to endure the two half marathons to prep me for this particular race, but no, things just didn’t turn out the way I’d hoped. But that always happens in training, things never go the way you planned, so it seems.

The alternative plan was to then focus on the swim – I mean, I need to get out of the water first to finish the race, right? I had heard so many tales of the cold and the strong current of the Alcatraz swim – and the 1.5 mile distance wasn’t the most comforting factor, either. I recalled the many times I used to hyperventilate and stiffen up in the cold waters of Malibu and Oxnard (Strawberry Fields Tri in July last year), which I was able to overcome only after warming up in the water for at least 10 minutes before the race start. Realizing that the Alcatraz race would offer me no time to warm up (you are required to jump off a boat straight into the water once the gun goes off), I knew I had to somehow overcome that cold water factor. Also, I had to just become comfortable in the ocean in all situations, period. So how would I achieve that in a mere two months’ time?

I thought of the people I knew who had no fear of the ocean whatsoever – who really think being in the ocean in all weather is the most fun thing to do (i won't name names, but there are three, and you know who you are if you're reading this). I wanted their spirit to rub off, so I asked them to take me out to the water. Thanks to them, I did end up picking up the most valuable reinforcement to my psyche – ocean swimming is so fun! I didn’t agree with them 100% and I am not sure if I ever will, but at least I forced myself to believe in it somehow by telling it myself over and over. Their comfort levels in the water, however, to witness in person, helped me feel relaxed too so that I could focus on swimming, not NOT freaking out. I also picked times when the water would be choppier than in the mornings so that I could get used to random splashes in my face and drinking salt water through my nose. Contrasting types of training methods were employed – from a very calming “let’s just tread water and feel comfortable in the ocean” approach to the Spartan-style “keep swimming, don’t stop, don’t be weak, Alcatraz is going to be a lot colder and choppier than this!” approach. In hindsight, they were both very effective training approaches.

Bike training – sooooooooooooooo, I only got on the road twice (maybe three times?) leading up to the race. I could only pray and hope that my grueling trekking experience in Peru’s high altitude would help me get through the hills. There were a few occasional hill interval training on the trainer, but overall bike training was non-existent if I compare this to the time and devotion I put in last year for my half ironman race.

Overall, my preparation for this race was challenged with terribly busy work days, big and rather untimely travel plans (what was I thinking??? But nonetheless I had the best trip ever to Peru) and quite a few changes in my personal life which required me to be more “flexible” with my training time.

But no matter what, I still had to do the race - and that is what i did! :)