**Back to Basics - Dropping the Amitryptalin**

- BEFORE YOU READ THIS, PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT THIS IS A PERSONAL DECISION AND NOT A MEDICAL ADVICE.-

About two weeks ago I stopped taking the Amitryptalin I was once raving about. Although I do miss the less painful and stiff mornings I enjoyed for a short period of time while i was taking the medication, I know that I have made the right decision to keep all my treatments natural.

I had heard that Amitryptalin makes you gain weight. I thought to myself when i heard it, that I'd be able to counteract that side effect because i exercise all the time. Wrong. Here's why: In a week or so after i started taking the drug, I recall starting to crave sugar and carbohydrates - i do love desserts here and there but my craving for carbs in this case was uncontrollable. It was right around Thanksgiving that I realized that i wasn't able to curb the craving - usually i don't even feel the urge to have carbs/sweets, and when i did a little taste of it would do. Not this time - it was uncontrollable in both frequency and volume.

Over the past couple of months, I felt myself becoming heavier and also prone to more pain, thanks to the sugar. I was feeling lethargic and just not the same anymore. I didn't think immediately that it was the Amitryptalin... but I started narrowing things down, comparing what i'm doing different now vs. before, and the only variable that has changed recently was the drug. So I experimented for a week - taking the drug, and then the next week - not taking the drug. A conclusion was made. Although the benefits of sleep and less pain in the mornings were great, it did not outweigh the drawbacks of an uncontrollably unhealthy diet and related physical (and even psychological) symptoms.

I think my system is finally clearing out the effects of the drug - I am craving less sugar and I am feeling so much more upbeat and focused. I'm back to my low-carb diet (I have always kept a low carb diet, since the 90's) and eating healthy again. I've got some extra pounds to lose, but that's just a matter of time.

So what about sleep without the drug? What about the pain? Here are my recent additions to my regime.

1. Fibronol and Fibroboost (www.fibronol.com) - helps with the sleep and therefore the morning stiffness (not as powerful as Amitryptalin) - and Fibroboost gives me extra energy during my training.
2. Greenergy (www.energyfirst.com) is back - i stopped taking this for about 4-5 months and tried Monavie, which is also an antioxidant supplement. Monavie has worked wonders for some people. Greenergy just works better for me and helps me more when it comes to digestion and metabolism.

Every morning before my training I drink FRS (all the benefits of antioxidants, with a kick of caffeine). Throughout the day I make my Greenergy drink (twice to three times) and take Fibronol (two pills, three times a day). Back to my past/normal routine. I'd take the bit of the morning stiffness (which i deal with by stretching every morning now) over all the other sugar-related lethargy and inflammation. Case closed.

Interesting Times – facing Reality yet imagining a better Reality in the Future.

Ok, long story short, let me go over some of my recent activities and that would make everything self explanatory.

8/19 – 8/23: Myopain Conference and Leaders Against Pain leadership training, Washington DC
8/23 – 8/26: New York trip (train ride from DC, back to LA on the 26th)
8/27 : back to work
8/31 – 9/3: Germany trip
9/4 : back to work, running errands to prep for the move explained below
9/7 – 9/8: Helped a friend move things out of storage and move stuff (like, big and heavy stuff) in 95 degree weather
9/10: Parents fly in from Korea to stay for 21 days.

I understand that I can’t even whine or ask for sympathy here. I’ve done all this voluntarily and I really thought that if I managed myself right, I’d be fine. I could be such an unrealistic optimist sometimes! Ha ha. This is what happened the following:

9/4 – 9/13: Feeling fatigued, barely surviving at work. Not able to train/work out. But keeping a good attitude and pretending to be “fine.” (I think I was trying to practice positive thinking, which ended up being more of a denial)
9/13: I couldn’t move my neck. The stiffness was unprecedented, and I was in pain. When I got home, I was in tears because I couldn’t believe how much my neck and shoulders were hurting. That combined with a really bad headache, upset stomach and chest pains, it was an all-in attack of my fibromyalgia symptoms. Bring it on.
9/14: I start religiously drinking Greenergy, dropped all other supplements. I don’t know exactly why I did that but I just wanted to have one thing working for me and see if Greenergy really helped, out of all my supplements. I was feeling better. Had heating pad on my neck all day long. Was able to turn my head half way on each side by the end of the day.
9/15 – 9/16: Trip to San Diego with my parents. It was still a stretch, but I had to do it. but we all went to bed really early, moving with my schedule. Thanks to their cooperation, I wasn’t feeling too fatigued. However, overall stiffness was prevalent and it felt like a piece of plank wood. I was stretching and doing yoga moves that would get me lubed up in my joints. Wow. Painful.

My body was screaming at me to stop. The level of pain this time was far worse than it has ever been in the past 2-3 years! Dang, I really was full of myself during the month of August – early September. I really thought I could do it all somehow. Lesson learned: NO, I CAN’T DO IT ALL IN SUCH A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

So now…I can’t swim because I can’t really move my neck without screaming. My mind is constantly battling – would running help me or harm me right now? right now I’m thinking that it would knock me down again. However, not exercising might prolong my fatigue/pain. Don’t think stretching and Yoga are enough…or maybe it is. I’m just too used to going out there and doing more active things.

Back in June, I signed up for an Olympic-distance triathlon on 9/30. Doing that race seems unrealistic at this point. It’s discouraging and disappointing, but when I look back on the things I’ve done over the past month, there is not a single thing I regret. The fact that I was able to travel and help a friend really makes me happy – and if I had to, I’d do it again (it’s one of those things that I had to do because I really care about this person). My body could have easily broken down then – but it didn’t! This past week or two have been extremely tough and challenging. I don’t like feeling like I can’t even go for a walk outside. I don’t like feeling worn out like this again. BUT I know this is temporary. I know that in a couple of weeks, with good rest and nutrition and slowly easing myself back into exercising, I will get me back on the training routine again. How do I know? Because I know I HAVE TO get back on track. And I know I can.

We all have setbacks. I think our strength is proven by our ability to deal with setbacks, not when things are all good and easy. There are many more races before the end of this season – and I might end up having to resort to doing a half marathon (not that that’s easy) or a half-century ride towards the end of this year or early next year. My neck/shoulder problems might keep me from swimming for the rest of the season. I don’t know yet. I have to talk to my physical therapist.

On the bright side - Being the absurdly optimistic person that I am, I am even thinking, this is probably the worst that can happen before I start training for my half-ironman next year! Ha ha. And that would make my story even more meaningful – overcoming a tough setback before training for a completing a half-Ironman! Yes, a bit dramatic, but I will imagine the best. That is what is going to keep me going. It’s so easy to just get discouraged and hate myself for bringing myself to this. However, whatever – it’s a done deal, I had fun while doing all the things I’ve done, learned great things and I just have to rest for now! Who knows, maybe I’ll do the sprint distance on 9/30 instead! J oh well. I’m going to pray about it and think hard about my next steps. For now, I just have to keep up the effort to get my energy level back and move forward.

Next, I will finally get around talking about the amazing experience I had in DC during the Myopain Conference and the Leaders Against Pain leadership training program. I will also share a lot of the useful medical info I’ve acquired from attending the conferences. It’s great to have medical explanations to why I do what I do to battle Fibromyalgia.

A Rather Strong Flare-Up...

Last Saturday (7/14), i did a 36 mile bike ride. I was quite busy running around all weekend afterwards. The following week, work was pretty intense and stressful until Wednesday. I was quite sore and my hips were pretty hurting from the bike ride so I didn't work out at all until Wednesday (swim, 1,100 meters). Thursday night when i got home from work, i started feeling quite tired. I lost my appetite and my head was just all clogged up. It was rather odd - because until Wednesday i was feeling fine.

Perhaps it was the fact that all the stressful events at work calmed down for the time being and all the pent up tension was being released. Perhaps also was the fact that i have been dealing with some of personal annoyances (people-related) that just got me irritated and stressed out. Perhaps all the long rides have been catching up on me. I have no idea what the real reason is. But then again, for us Fibro patients, we never know what the real reasons are for anything.

I passed out that night pretty early, slept more than 8 hours, only to wake up in the morning (after waking like 4 times during the night) with a pretty strong sensation of shoulder/neck tightness and pain. Now, I haven't had Fibro flareups like this in a WHILE. I'm talking almost a year. It scared the living daylights out of me because my immediate mental response was "my training season is over." Well, i caught myself in my own negative thoughts and shook my head. I was trying to get up, but also realizing that my ankles were achy, and felt hot - not literally hot, but it felt like they were burning. That was another sensation i haven't felt in a while to that degree. It was frustrating.

I had an acupuncture appointment later that morning, fortunately. So instead of going to work first i waited for some of the symptoms to dissipate until i had to leave for my appointment. It wasn't easy. During this time, my mind kept going in and out of negativity and the worst scenarios - my biggest concern was, of course, "did i do myself harm by training? Should i stop?" But it was too early to tell. i could still have the same flare ups without the workouts - and i used to! So I didn't believe in my thoughts - and just got up, dragged myself into the shower (usually helps with pain) and started getting ready for my appointment.

The rest of the day was rough. rough, rough rough. I did have an important meeting that afternoon at work so i had to show up - Acupuncture helped my pain, but i was still feeling so worn out.

I sat in front of my computer, and when i was not working, I was just going through my thoughts and checking out my mind - what have i been thinking lately? Am i being positive? Am i tired (mentally)? What is going on that's causing me the stress, if not the physical stress?

Most of the time, this kind of mental inventory check i find extremely helpful. I was kinda sorta meditating to take any discouraging, annoying or negative thoughts out of my head - no matter what they were or how justified i thought they were. I really believe that 70% or so of my flareups come from my mind - something in my mind triggers the pain switches. I needed to flat out the ripples in my mind...take it easy at work, be happy, be positive, don't stress and just get work done... i kept telling myself.

Towards the end of the day, i was better. I still had to rest the rest of the evening, but I was far better than i was in the morning. Improvement was all i was hoping for.

This morning (Saturday) - i had to forego my long bike ride and went swimming instead. 1,400 meters. slow and steady, over about 46 minutes, including some substantial rests between laps. I was not about pushing myself today. I felt good in the water, and i was happy that i wasn't feeling that head-blurriness i was feeling last week.

Right now I'm just relaxing after cleaning up the house, running some errands and talking to some people. I am happy that i'm back on track, about 90%. Ankles are still a bit achy, but i am just massaging them now. I'm taking my Greenergy, Overdrive tablets and a new herbal powder that my acupuncturist gave me for Fibro. Tomorrow is a long day, hosting a friend's baby shower, so I have to save some energy for myself. It is rather funny that i have to save energy for running errands, but during tough times energy management is everything. This is all a part of living well, despite my limits.

I will not let this incident get to me. I'm going to keep fighting with my mind. I'm going to keep experimenting, I'm going to be smart about this.

Hopefully in two weeks I will find out more about how my training is making me feel. I am sure it will be for the better, overall.

Personal Treatments and Preventitive Measures for Fibromyalgia

--PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS IS NOT IN ANY WAY WRITTEN TO ACT AS MEDICAL ADVICE – THIS IS ONLY TO SHARE WITH YOU WHAT HAS BEEN WORKING FOR ME. WE ALL HAVE DIFFERENT SYMPTOMS SO DIFFERENT TREATMENTS MAY OR MAY NOT WORK FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE. PLEASE CONSULT WITH YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE MAKING ANY DECISIONS.--

1. Acupuncture - I don’t think acupuncture necessarily heals “fibromyalgia,” but what it helps is the relief of muscle tightness. I have huge knots on my neck and shoulders, and they have subsided a lot through acupuncture. When my symptoms are bad and I’m in a lot of pain, I go twice a week for about two weeks. After that, I usually try to go once every other week as maintenance.

2. Massage – if you are active, massage is KEY. Normal people who work out regularly need massages to help muscle recovery, so people like us who have muscle tension issues must do even more. Definitely once a month, at least.

3. Supplements – I used to not believe in supplements. Now I’m finally a believer. Here are some of the things I take regularly (and making it a habit took me MONTHS). I think multivitamins and Greenergy have been the most important so far.
a. Multivitamins (2x /day, with a meal)
b. Glucosamine – helps with joint pain. 3x/day with meal.
c. FRS plus – www.frsplus.com I cannot emphasize how much this stuff has helped me with maintaining my energy level, stay focused on tough days at work, and just feeling good overall. Please read about it, and try a sample order.
d. Greenergy (from www.EnergyFirst.com) - the best “green” drink out there. One scoop of this mix contains 5 servings of our daily required vegetable intake. I take 2-3 scoops a day throughout the day.
e. Ginko pills (2x/day) – it says it helps with blood flow. It’s been helping with my muscle tightness problems, because I have been told by my acupuncturist that prolonged muscle tightness comes from lack of blood flow. Apparently we’re not supposed to take more than a certain amount of ginko per day. So I only take whatever my brand directs me to take – no more than that.

4. Sleep! - funny I say sleep is a treatment, but sleep is very important to me. I need my 7-8 hours a day. Once my sleep pattern is broken, it’s very hard to recover. Be selfish and try to keep your sleep schedule.

5. Eat healthy – I have stopped drinking alcoholic beverages. If I drink wine once in a while (because I love wine very much), I immediately feel that lousy, tired pull from the bottom of the earth. But at least I know what I’m up against when I choose to drink it. While I do indulge in steak and fries once in a while, I definitely eat them less frequently. Fresh vegetables, fruit, fish and chicken, legumes are my most frequented food list. I never used to believe in it – but we are what we eat. I still LOVE my sweets and I usually have my desserts after dinner. However, after a couple of bites, I am happy with my fill. Controlling the amount of sugar in my body has helped me feel healthier.

6. Exercise smart! – need I say more (i will have a dedication section about this one topic alone!)

7. Manage your stress level.

8. Be happy. Happiness is a choice! (i will have a section about this too, in the near future)