**Quick Update and...Happy New Year!**

Two days ago, I got a Blood Lactate Test done at Phase IV (www.phase-iv.net), my future personal training facility. It basically is a test of my blood in various workout intensity stages on the bike, which shows what is happening inside my body during exercise, and provides the data to create accurate heart-rate training zones. This is supposed to allow for 100% productivity from my workouts and maximizes fitness outcomes. I decided to take this test because i have always had higher-than-average heart rate. The examiner suggested that I focus on training longer for now at low intensity. I'm supposed to wait a week to get all the nitty gritty of the exam, so I'll share that with you when i get it. I've decided to train smart and be injury-free in 2008, so this is my first step toward my resolution!

So.... today, for the first time in months I will do a semi-brick to add to my workout duration. I will do my running program (now doing 4 mins run x 2 mins walk, 3 times) and then jump in the pool for a 30 minute easy swimming (mostly drills). Then I will do nothing but rest and eat healthy for the rest of the day. It's always after the workouts when i overextend myself and run errands or go out with friends I turn into a pumpkin the next day. I know that i have plans to go out with friends both Sunday and Monday so I have to save my energy up for those two days. Planning ahead is one thing i learned from managing my energy levels...people take our daily activities for granted, but man do we (FM patients) know how hard it is to even get all our errands done on the weekends.

For the next week, my work out will be continuing the running program at 4'x2' 3 times (10 minute warm up and 5 minute cool-down, please don't forget warm up and cool down!), mixed with some spinning (upgrate to 60-75 minutes, easy) and swimming. And of course do the daily stretches and strength exercises. Hopefully, once I pass this level of running I will start 5 minutes of running 4 times next week, and on and on...

The year is coming to an end - and a new year is beginning. I wish you all very happy new year and continuing healing in your lives. Thank you for everyone that has been sending me emails to keep me encouraged and thankful. You all keep me motivated and inspired! I pray for your health, happiness and courage to keep fighting this nasty nemesis, but also remember that we have the power to control this illness even if it is to a limited degree.

Ok, off i go to the gym... Hope you are going for a walk around your neighborhood today!

*God Bless*

**Stretching, Strength Training and Run/Walking....**

For the past two weeks, I have been trying to manage all the stretching and strengthening exercises for my injuries, along with the progressive running program i've been prescribed, as well as squeezing in a bit of easy spinning and swimming in between. The workouts have been fairly easy, although finding the time to do everything has been challenging. Here's an example of my weekly workout plan:

Monday: rest day
Tuesday: Yoga/Stretch
Wednesday: Run/Walk program (10 mins walk - (3mins run x 2mins walk)X2 - 5 min cool down) Thursday: Stretching, strength training
Friday: Bike
Saturday: Run/Walk Program
Sunday: Yoga or Swim (or both but hasn't happened yet)

Next week my run/walk program will be longer in running minutes with more frequency, and it will keep moving progressively for the next 3 weeks. hopefully by then i can start running further distances, because I do have that half-marathon i signed up for (Feb 3rd). Yauuuza.

Once i start training for my triathlons full time (when will that be, i don't know yet), I know i have to still make time for all these stretches and the occasional yoga, because without them I will most likely get injured again. Right now I'm making my stretching and strengthening exercises a habit of mine so that i won't forget them later. We tend to overlook stretching especially when we're running around trying to get training done while working full-time, but now that i've learned my lesson i can't afford to really let that go in my daily training routine.

I'm learning that patience and persistence is key to a full recovery from an injury. It has been pretty trying lately for me, as I have been anxious to start training again and yet my body hasn't been following my desire to pick up the pace. I am looking at the progressive running sheet and going "ok, all i can run is a total of 6 minutes?" but i know i have to go by the rules or else i'll regret it later. my back and hips tighten up only after that short run, so i know i should be following the rules - and every time i feel more tightness or pain i get frustrated and scared but even that i have to fight and tell myself that it's just part of the process. I will get better. I will be done with my injuries. It will happen.

By the way, yoga has been tremendously helpful for me - i got a Yoga for Athletes DVD for $25 instead of going to those expensive classes - the clicking in the shoulders subsided greatly. my hamstrings have loosened up a lot too since i've started Yoga. Actually, the creator of this DVD, Kim Fowler (http://www.go2yas.com/yas_about_kimberly_fowler.asp) is an amazing woman that overcame both a tragic accident and brain cancer and got back into racing again through practicing yoga. Read her story. Every time i start feeling tired of carrying around this injury, I think of her and shut up. :)

I can do this.

**Babysteps and My First Magazine Appearance!**

Starting this week, I started a running program as advised by my physical therapist who has been advising me on my hip injury. My first week of workouts - 20 minutes of brisk walking, every other day. Obviously, this indicates how much I have been rushing to get the ball rolling in triaining whenever i felt that i have made an advancement in hip or shoulder injury recovery - for example, running 3 miles straight up whenever i felt *better*.

I did my 20 minute walk yesterday, and shockingly my right hip and back did feel extremely tight. I did my stretch exercises this morning, followed by 50 minutes of easy spinning on the bike, wrapping up with some stretching and, the key to all muscle recovery, icing. Wow, thank God for icing. I have truly learned the benefits of icing after a long hard workout. If anybody saw me wrapped in ice all around my hip and back and shoulders...and thank God that anybody is nobody but me. :)

I am really looking forward to this running program, because I believe it will surely build me up gradually and effectively, hopefully preventing me from further injuries! I declare 2008 as a injury-free year!

Another good news - East West magazine, an Asian-American targeted lifestyle and fashion magazine, featured a story on Fibromyalgia and yours truly. :) Yes, who would have thought - I'm featured in a magazine!!! The link to the article is http://www.eastwestmagazine.com/content/view/249/40/. The content of the article was very informative about Fibromyalgia itself and my story was interwoven nicely almost as a case study. The writer, Jennifer Kim, really did an amazing job and I commend her ability to build a cohesive and interesting story out of interviews from doctors, references and worst of all, my long interview of many many words. Thank you Jennifer!

Anyway, I am hoping and praying dearly that my current 20 minutes of walking will soon develop into the ability to run miles and miles....and 13 miles to be exact by February. I really want to do the half marathon race in February! I will have Fibromyalgia awareness phrases on my race singlet this time. I can't wait.

**Bringing Healthy Back (well, sort of!)**

It has been a while since my last update. First of all, I want to share with you that after a tumultuous summer (health-wise), I am finally getting back to my base-level health. I stopped all the traveling and took advantage of the down time at work to focus on getting better over the past month.

Hip Injury – Back again, or time to get rid of it for good?
Starting mid-October, I realized that my hip injury has not completely healed, causing tightness and pain on my right hip every time I went biking or running. I was excited for a while to be able to run more than 3 miles – but a couple of weeks later the pain worsened. I went to a free lecture series at a personal training facility called Phase IV. The lecture was about achieving efficient and effective training for cyclists (it was amazing). The place also offered free injury evaluation at their physical therapy location, so I signed up for it. They quickly called me to follow up to set up an appointment, which was quite impressive. The evaluation indicated that my right hip was rotated (which I think is from my sitting position in front my desk at work) and muscles around them were weak due to prolonged tightness. The rotation caused a slight misalignment of one of my backbones, which have been causing the irritation in my back.

So – I’ve been back on physical therapy for about 3 weeks now, and I have been doing my assigned stretching and exercises every day, followed by 15 minutes of icing as if it were my religious ritual. I’ve been limited to 30-45 minutes of cycling until further instruction. Definitely no running. Ouch. But I have been diligent with it and I have been observing my therapist’s instructions (ie, my subjective opinions and feelings have been out of the question – but I did trip again, coming up in the later part of this entry).

I signed up to do a half marathon in February (www.runsurfcity.com). Perhaps that is the primary reason why I can be patient and do whatever my physical therapist is telling me to do J. I am praying that by December I will be able to start running. I am right now just doing my minimum biking and building my base (about 125 heart beats per minute), just thinking about being injury free.

My shoulder/neck injuries are getting much better, though. I went to a swimming clinic about two weeks ago, which helped me greatly with fixing my stroke and therefore relieving too much stress on my right shoulder. The problem I have been having was that I have been crossing over my arms instead of keeping my arms aligned with my shoulders – fixing that position changed everything!

Sleeping Better!!!
One of my (and most of FM patients’) biggest and perhaps most detrimental symptoms is poor-quality sleep, or what’s called sleep apnea. Basically, getting our REM sleep (deep sleep where growth hormones are developed and our muscles recover) is like getting a guy to ask for directions – or whatever that basically means “impossible.” Realizing that getting good quality sleep is probably one of the most important things I need for daily recovery from training, I asked my physician about ways to get better sleep. I have tried many herbal sleep enhancement supplements, and they seemed to help me for only the first 2 weeks, and then become practically useless.

My doctor recommended I try Amitriptyline. Having been off any kind of prescription medication for a while now, I was a bit hesitant when he mentioned it. I asked him exactly what the medication did, and he kindly explained to me that it was proven to help people with FM get REM sleep and enhance serotonin levels in the brain – perfect. Isn’t that we fibromyalgia patients lack the most anyway? It was a 10 mg pill, but the doctor advised that I start with half or a third of a pill first for two weeks, then increase the dose to 1 pill, before bed time. I figured I’d try anyway since I can immediately stop taking it if I didn’t like it while recognizing my craving for some solid, good RECOVERING sleep.

The first day, I couldn’t really notice the difference but the stiffness in the morning was less. After 3 days or so, I really started feeling so much well rested after a long-night of sleep! I was feeling fantastic. I was exercising regularly (every other day), feeling recovered every day. I was keeping up with my work schedule and the grueling 4 sessions of physical therapy (2 for my shoulders, 2 for my hip) every week and I was quite amazed by the way I can feel on a daily basis.

BUT once again, my biggest weakness reared its ugly head – and I abused my health and I had a pretty bad fall this Thursday and Friday. I worked long hours and cut down on my sleep to accommodate training while trying to make all my appointments before and after work – and finally my body gave in. WHY WHY WHY do I get so excited every time I am feeling better? I need to learn how to be moderate. I keep learning the hard way, over and over…ok people, I promise I will do everything in moderation. I will save my energy when I can, and the only time I will exert everything and beyond what I have will be on…race days only! It is Saturday afternoon right now and I only did my exercises and stretches I learned from physical therapy – that was still 30 minutes worth of work. I am so itching to get on the bike right now, but it is my first day in recovery after my two days of flareup so I KNOWWWW that I just have to build up slowly. Tomorrow I will go swimming focusing on my stroke. And that is all I am going to do. oh, and my physical therapy exercise assignments. :) BUT THAT’s IT!

Whoa, I'm featured on the National Fibromyalgia Association Website!

Thanks to the wonderful people at the NFA, I've been featured on the Member Spotlight section of their website. http://www.fmaware.org/site/News2?page=NewsArticle&id=6225

I did a short interview with the organization's communications director - I was quite nervous and in hindsight there are things I should have or could have said better. However, I do hope that it reaches those people who need a bit of hope and encouragement.

I'm desperately yet cautiously searching for a race event before the end of the year. My physical therapist thinks that I can start being active again, based on my progress with my neck and shoulder problems. I have been running every other day or every two days (or is that three?), and i have been feeling pretty good. I ran more than 3 miles two weeks ago, which was the first in MONTHS. Definitely my hips have gotten stronger, and the recent physical therapy which focused on my posture and core strength, has made things even better. I feel my body moving more efficiently, and I feel stronger.

Also, although I am a huge Nike fan, and this is nothing against my favorite sports brand in the world - I'm one of those people who got sucked into buying the ipod nano with the Nike+ (plus) speedometer/receiver gadget. I ran on Nike running shoes for a while so that i could use the apparatus. However, i hate to say this, but for the safety and well-being of all runners out there, Nike running shoes are not the best ones for your comfort and support. If you are an advent runner, this is probably old news. so for the new runners out there - I switched to the new Asics running shoes (http://www.asicsamerica.com/products/category.aspx?PARENT_CATEGORY_ID=250001538#a250001544) and I noticed a huge difference in my running. I'm not in as much pain as i used to be! I believe i bought the Gel-Kayano product, with something called an "i.g.s." technology. Whatever it is, it is awesome and it has worked well for me. I highly recommend the product and therefore highly encourage you to go check it out in your neighborhood athletic store!

Anyway - hope some of you enjoy my first public online appearance on the NFA website!

Interesting Times – facing Reality yet imagining a better Reality in the Future.

Ok, long story short, let me go over some of my recent activities and that would make everything self explanatory.

8/19 – 8/23: Myopain Conference and Leaders Against Pain leadership training, Washington DC
8/23 – 8/26: New York trip (train ride from DC, back to LA on the 26th)
8/27 : back to work
8/31 – 9/3: Germany trip
9/4 : back to work, running errands to prep for the move explained below
9/7 – 9/8: Helped a friend move things out of storage and move stuff (like, big and heavy stuff) in 95 degree weather
9/10: Parents fly in from Korea to stay for 21 days.

I understand that I can’t even whine or ask for sympathy here. I’ve done all this voluntarily and I really thought that if I managed myself right, I’d be fine. I could be such an unrealistic optimist sometimes! Ha ha. This is what happened the following:

9/4 – 9/13: Feeling fatigued, barely surviving at work. Not able to train/work out. But keeping a good attitude and pretending to be “fine.” (I think I was trying to practice positive thinking, which ended up being more of a denial)
9/13: I couldn’t move my neck. The stiffness was unprecedented, and I was in pain. When I got home, I was in tears because I couldn’t believe how much my neck and shoulders were hurting. That combined with a really bad headache, upset stomach and chest pains, it was an all-in attack of my fibromyalgia symptoms. Bring it on.
9/14: I start religiously drinking Greenergy, dropped all other supplements. I don’t know exactly why I did that but I just wanted to have one thing working for me and see if Greenergy really helped, out of all my supplements. I was feeling better. Had heating pad on my neck all day long. Was able to turn my head half way on each side by the end of the day.
9/15 – 9/16: Trip to San Diego with my parents. It was still a stretch, but I had to do it. but we all went to bed really early, moving with my schedule. Thanks to their cooperation, I wasn’t feeling too fatigued. However, overall stiffness was prevalent and it felt like a piece of plank wood. I was stretching and doing yoga moves that would get me lubed up in my joints. Wow. Painful.

My body was screaming at me to stop. The level of pain this time was far worse than it has ever been in the past 2-3 years! Dang, I really was full of myself during the month of August – early September. I really thought I could do it all somehow. Lesson learned: NO, I CAN’T DO IT ALL IN SUCH A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME.

So now…I can’t swim because I can’t really move my neck without screaming. My mind is constantly battling – would running help me or harm me right now? right now I’m thinking that it would knock me down again. However, not exercising might prolong my fatigue/pain. Don’t think stretching and Yoga are enough…or maybe it is. I’m just too used to going out there and doing more active things.

Back in June, I signed up for an Olympic-distance triathlon on 9/30. Doing that race seems unrealistic at this point. It’s discouraging and disappointing, but when I look back on the things I’ve done over the past month, there is not a single thing I regret. The fact that I was able to travel and help a friend really makes me happy – and if I had to, I’d do it again (it’s one of those things that I had to do because I really care about this person). My body could have easily broken down then – but it didn’t! This past week or two have been extremely tough and challenging. I don’t like feeling like I can’t even go for a walk outside. I don’t like feeling worn out like this again. BUT I know this is temporary. I know that in a couple of weeks, with good rest and nutrition and slowly easing myself back into exercising, I will get me back on the training routine again. How do I know? Because I know I HAVE TO get back on track. And I know I can.

We all have setbacks. I think our strength is proven by our ability to deal with setbacks, not when things are all good and easy. There are many more races before the end of this season – and I might end up having to resort to doing a half marathon (not that that’s easy) or a half-century ride towards the end of this year or early next year. My neck/shoulder problems might keep me from swimming for the rest of the season. I don’t know yet. I have to talk to my physical therapist.

On the bright side - Being the absurdly optimistic person that I am, I am even thinking, this is probably the worst that can happen before I start training for my half-ironman next year! Ha ha. And that would make my story even more meaningful – overcoming a tough setback before training for a completing a half-Ironman! Yes, a bit dramatic, but I will imagine the best. That is what is going to keep me going. It’s so easy to just get discouraged and hate myself for bringing myself to this. However, whatever – it’s a done deal, I had fun while doing all the things I’ve done, learned great things and I just have to rest for now! Who knows, maybe I’ll do the sprint distance on 9/30 instead! J oh well. I’m going to pray about it and think hard about my next steps. For now, I just have to keep up the effort to get my energy level back and move forward.

Next, I will finally get around talking about the amazing experience I had in DC during the Myopain Conference and the Leaders Against Pain leadership training program. I will also share a lot of the useful medical info I’ve acquired from attending the conferences. It’s great to have medical explanations to why I do what I do to battle Fibromyalgia.

Thoughts as I am Forced to Take a Break...

8/4/07 UPDATE
It’s been a challenging past couple of weeks. My body was increasingly getting tired, I haven’t been sleeping well, and I have been achy a lot more frequently. That in and of itself has been tiring me out! Ugh. I know I have been pushing myself, and I still plan on doing so – but this weekend, I decided to take a break. I’m still in pain from my hip injury and even my back is tight. I felt burnt out. So before I get completely turned off by the grueling training routine, I decided to just take a break. Just rest, recover and re-gather and center my thoughts. For the past couple of weeks it has mostly been just fighting the pain and the fear that comes with it – I’ve been stressed about not sleeping well and just trying to survive the day without much sleep. It’s almost as if I’ve stopped enjoying what I was doing this for – I just got wrapped up in training and managing the pain. Perhaps it’s time to take a step back, stay positive and feel well rested – so that I can keep going. This in and of itself is an endurance race – I need to pace myself.

It’s amazing how it’s so easy to forget to remember what it’s like to have setbacks. 2-3 years ago, I had set backs almost every other week. I used to have more bad days than good days. Now, here I am getting all discouraged and upset and frustrated because I’m having some setbacks after having like 3-4 great MONTHS. I know I don’t have to feel this bad about myself. I know that my desire to be healthier and stronger is great – and I have been striving for it for a while, but at the end…it’s all about living WITH FMS, right? I still have it, it’s not going anywhere, heck, I should be happy right now. Well, I am happy. I’m just tired – and that shouldn’t mean that I should be all upset and down in the doldrums. Does FMS have anything to do with moodiness? I wonder. Well, that’s probably just me – the last thing I want to do is to add “moodiness” to the list of symptoms of FMS. That wouldn’t be right.

Well, hopefully I should be able to post something positive next time…and I know I will. I will recover and I will do better. I always have. Hang in there everyone!