A good morning.

I ran for an hour this morning. I ran.

OK, let's start from the beginning. I got up, TIRED as heck, got dressed and went downstairs to warm up a little. I warmed up by blasting music and dancing around the living room (hey, why not have fun?). Then I moved on to stretching. I got warm enough to want to get out of the house at 545am, still dark and a bit chilly (not as cold as it has been in the East, but hey, everything is relative).

I started jogging very easy, for 5 minutes - then I walked to stretch out my hips more for the next 5 mintues, and stretched my quads twice along the way, and then to wrap up my extended warm up, I jogged again for another 5 minutes.

I focused on my warm up this morning because of the fact that I hadn't really *ran* in 3 days or so, and I wanted to make sure that I could maximize my running while I was in fact running.

The warm up paid off. I was running smoothly 10-15 minutes into my main run, and towards the end of the 4th mile (i think) I didn't feel like stopping - I could go on for another 3-4 miles (what a relief, i have a half marathon in 3 weeks!). I was able to change my speed more swiftly too, which felt great. We all know there are days we can't tell if we're going faster or slower or what.

Some people can just start running. I can't. I could, but I wouldn't last long. I have to take the time to warm up properly. I have to take the time to get my body to be ready to run. Yes, I would like to be like those some people that can just get up and get running. But I am not. Big deal. Take some extra time and make sure YOUR run is right for YOU. It's YOUR run, it's MY run, not somebody else's.

Anyway, I cooled down for 5 minutes after 4.5 miles, and then stretched and got myself on the foam roller after the run. It felt good. What a good run this morning. What a relief that is, too.

Tomorrow I will attempt to do a shorter run but faster. Friday, strength training and recovery. Saturday (or Sunday), a big 10 miler.

Have a nice day.

Easing In

I had about 9 hours of solid sleep. I woke up with lingering pain in my shoulders and tired legs. I knew I had to get up and get moving. I stretched and started walking outside. After about 8 minutes of walking, I started running really easy, I felt some discomfort in my hips and left quads, but I figured that's natural for someone who hasn't ran in over a week.

I warmed up for about 15 minutes with a light run. Then, I just kept doing run/walk intervals of 4 mins/1.5 mins for about 2 miles. The discomfort did subside over time, but I have to admit not to a point I'd liked it to be. But I felt comforted by the relief, no matter how small it was. I knew that there was no way I could run over 5 miles without feeling pain later, so I slowed down on the way back and walked fast to stretch my hips and monitor my pain. My mind was still running wild, one minute positive and another minute negative and gloomy. I was worrying about my ability to do a half marathon in 3 weeks. I was feeling antisocial and worrying about a dinner commitment i made for tonight. I was at times telling myself I will have a great day. I was at times telling myself my life was over - my head was very very unstable! These mind tricks could fool us to making us believing that we are worthless and our lives are pathetic. But I know even this mind battle is part of the process. Whenever my mind plays tricks on me, I have to focus on the positive. I know those negative thoughts are not real, and they are driven by lower serotonin levels, especially on high-pain days. When my body is about to feel better, my mind struggles even more before it gets back to its positive state...brain chemistry runs the gamut.

I'm going in to the office today for about 5 hours to get a lot of work done, which stresses me out, but I will just push through and get it done.

Tomorrow I will attempt to get up early and do a real run, since I managed to warm up today from a week long streak of pain and fatigue.

I can turn this around. Even when I think i can't, I know i just have to.

Pain.

Today was one of the toughest days i have had in a long time.

The pain through my shoulder blades are so severe that I cannot even turn my head, and the pain keeps me completely helpless. I've tried many times throughout the day to push through it and be active, but i couldn't. The thing that kills me that it probably is just tight, but I'm feeling it so much more because of fibromyalgia. I've been tired and overworked, and even over-active. This pain is what gets us down not just physically but also mentally. I am in a dark place.

i pray that tomorrow i will be better. i pray that i will get through this. i pray that i will not feel like i'm all alone on this earth. i pray that tomorrow I will get up and get moving. i pray that tomorrow i will have better news to share.

Surf City Half Marathon, 2/1/09. I will still make it there.

I'll be ok. God bless you all.

There are bad days, but there are also Good Days!

I ran easy for 40 minutes today. I felt pretty good, although left hip was hurting more than the right hip (usually it's the right one that bothers me), and left ankle was showing some sharp pains occasionally. I stretched after the run just to make sure i was addressing those pain issues. I was suprised at how i didn't get exhausted by the 20th minute, because i remembered the struggle i experienced last week.

This past Saturday I ran/walked 5 miles, more like 6 including warm up and cool down, and perhaps that helped me build better endurance although I was stuggling after mile 3 with both hips and calves screaming for rest. I was very exhausted and fatigued at mile 3.5 or so, was regretting not bringing Cytomax with me (just brought plain water), but I powered through and had a long cool down, just to make the mileage. I wasn't as sore the next day, in fact i ended up standing around for 6 hours volunteering at a half-marathon event, but it was good to be out there and get some positive energy from so many runners. On Monday, however, I couldn't dare to run like I was supposed to because that was when the soreness kicked in. I took the day off and I ran today instead (so i'm skipping one bike session this week), and i think the rest yesterday helped.

I gotta look into the left hip pain and make sure that is figured out before I go out and run again. Nothing some foam rolling and icing can't fix, I hope.

Training plan for this week:
Tues: Run Easy 40 mins (not including warm up for 10 minutes and cool down for 5, for all workouts)
Wed: Power Plate / Strength training
Thurs: Run Moderate (a little faster/harder than today) 30 mins with drills afterwards
Fri: Bike Moderate 40 mins on trainer
Sat: Run/Walk 7 miles, Conversational pace (I think it's 7, but it might be 6)
Sun: Rest (will probably do pilates, core exercises, etc)

** Some days are bad - today is that day **

What a lousy training day i had this morning.

I was supposed to run at a moderate pace (about 7-8 difficulty/exertion out of a 10 scale) for 30 minutes. I just couldn't run at that pace for any longer than 5 minutes. My legs felt heavy, my head was foggy, I was miserable. I think people driving and running by me could see the misery on my face (nearing breakout into a sob). I was feeling quite discouraged but remembered that every day is different and even the pros have days like this where their body feels like it's someone else's.

I ended up pretty much jogging for like 25 minutes, and walked 5 minutes before and 5 minutes after. Well, better than nothing. At least I got up and tried. I feel lame and yet justified all at the same time. Eh, what can I do about it. Move on.

Tomorrow is moderate bike on the trainer for 30 minutes. That should be better, because cycling is usally easier than running :)

** Patientslikeme.com Launches Fibromyalgia Community Site **

IT'S LIVE. I ENCOURAGE YOU TO JOIN.

I've joined patientslikeme.com and put up my profile. The website, which has been receiving some great accolades for their existing patient communities (ALS, MS, etc), is launching a community site for fibromyalgia, based on great demand from fellow patients out there! How exciting is that - this proves so many positive things surrounding the illness, some of them being increased awareness and the growing "validity" of the illness in the medical community. This is a great website for us to share not just our personal info and experience, but treatment, medication and symptom history with others in a nice little visibly effective chart that allows you and others to track your progress. I'm still working on building my history, which I expect to show a very interesting progress chart (less medications, less treatments and less symptoms over the years!). I'm a stats/numbers geek so when I see things like this I have to admit I do get a bit too excited. Anyway, I encourage you to check it out and register!!!! My profile is http://www.patientslikeme.com/members/view/minnielee

Also, I don't know how many people are going to read this today, but there is going to be a section in CBS Evening News tonight at 630pm featuring PatientsLikeMe...check it out...you might discover a little surprise...

One last bit - I did my moderate bike for 30 minutes on the trainer this morning. I felt ok, legs are still feeling pretty heavy and slow. Right hip and back are kind of killing, but i'm stretching them out all day long. I really am working towards losing about 7-10 pounds. Losing the load off my muscles and joints would help me greatly with running long distances - right now i'm just lugging around too much for too long! Tomorrow is 5 miles, easy...long...boring...easy but not really easy training day it will be and i'm really looking forward to it!

** Winter = Post Season = Half Marathon Training **

It's been way too long since my last update. Not much to report except that I have completed my base training stage for my half-marathon training - running/walking easy and long 3 times a week, for about 2 months. I combined some cycling and yoga/pilates to break the absolute boredom that comes from running.

After the triathlon season is over (Spring, Summer) it is so easy to just fall into the trap of doing nothing and eating poorly. Well, eating poorly at times I did, but i made sure that i didn't stop exercising completely. Winter time is the best time to focus on your weakest area, which for me is the run.

My half-marathon race is on Feb 1st, Super Bowl Sunday. It will be at Huntington Beach, CA. Last year I did a 5-k at this race when i was just starting to recover from my hip injury. This year I will make a comeback by completing the half-marathon...in fact, this is where I did my first half-marathon two years ago, which led to my grueling year-long hip problem. This should be interesting.

Tomorrow's training is moderate run for 30 minutes. Then Friday moderate bike for 30 minutes. Saturday is the big 5-miler on a relatively easy pace (i will get bored, but i will think of post-run food enjoyments). Sunday is REST DAY, as it should be.

Stay strong and positive, people - i know it is hard but we just...have to at the end.